Princely Erotica Review 3

Title: Royal Baby

Author: Avery Wilde

What made me go huh??: The first meeting and the interlude before the heroine, Keira, becomes a maid in the palace. Keira doesn't recognise slutty royal Prince Andrew. Really? She didn't google her employer?

Storyline in a snap: Art student Keira gets hired as a maid in the royal household. Before she leaves for the UK, (yes, most of these plucky Cinderellas are American because presumably no sane girl of other nationalities would want to be in a royal family LOL) she meets the dirty slutty Prince Andrew (that the story is about the British royal family and the real life Prince Andrew has been implicated in several unsavoury situations and unsuitable company does make one suspicious about the choice of name) who's incognito as Drew Ellis in NY. She's rescued from being a one night stand notch on the belt encounter for said Prince and isn't too happy with him. So after all the banter and knot untwisting that always happens, Keira and Andrew end up having that romp (make that romps) in the hay (one episode is literally a romp in the hayloft, enjoy the witty observation on the porn qualities of hay romps, it's at least a little different!). Now throw in the expected royal pregnancy (see title) plus some typical obstacles, and readers get an enjoyable quick read with HEA.

What puzzled or didn't quite work: Keira's twisting herself into knots. Getting all twisted up in knots for heroines is ok once, twice in quick succession begs the question 'why?'

What I liked: The quirky humour and I don't just mean Andrew's awful sense of humour haha (the royal sceptre joke was probably the most inventive one in his repertoire) but also the episode of she said vs She (crazy Swedish Princess) said incident where the Queen tries to shield royal dumbness from public ridicule by ordering that their pointless argument about witnesses and evidence never be raised again.

Rating: 2.5* 

                                                                    

It was entertaining, just wish it had a bit more pizzazz.

So after reading three royal erotica stories, what's the takeaway? Modern royals are (at least in fiction though the 'ahem' younger members of some European royal houses are proving fiction can be inspired by life) proud heirs of legendary crown jewels and shagging tendencies (anyone remember Jonathan Rhys Meyers as Henry in The Tudors?). But what makes a story a cut above the rest is the humour and Waltz proved the winner (see earlier post for review of Waltz's book) with the OTT humour.

Princely Erotica Review 2

Title: His Princess

Author: Abigail Graham

What made me go huh??: The setting was a little confusing. Alternately modern, neo-medieval, perhaps even a touch of sci-fi.

Storyline in a snap: Penny, an American girl reeling from the death of her fiancé, ends up in a country (Kosztyla) that doesn't have the best of reputations. The Prince, Kristoff, is a tortured soul who rescues her from a bunch of human traffickers abetted by an American CIA operative just before Penny is raped. There's lack of clarity regarding the condition of her companions till the conclusion. Throw in a crazy ex-fiancée for the Prince and there's a bloody struggle in the end which leads to the HEA. Frankly, the bloodshed was the more "innovative" part of the story but didn't really work with the rest of the story.

What didn't work: The bloody conflict which was kind of confusing. The timelines - the conclusion was tacked on almost like an afterthought and there was no warning that the story was jumping from post marital sex to years later.

What I liked: Hot scenes though a little overwrought. Look there's a reason why it's erotica and not fairytale though several of the Grimm brothers' texts aren't exactly politically correct.

Rating: 2*

                                                          

I liked the reference to the Persephone myth but didn't seem like it was pursued further, which was a shame. Maybe the myth cycle didn't quite work out because the Ceres equivalent wasn't really there.

What puzzled in both books: Why are the heroines always haunted by their ex-fiancés? Is it a plot device to assure the reader that modern day Cinderellas aren't just slutty gold diggers? Or is it the angst? Either way, it was just odd that both these stories had that in common. And why are the Princes all Prince Charming (model 7S??) built impossibly large - erm, ok, the crown jewels are big, I get it but a guy with tree trunk-sized limbs?? LOL

I don't like to be too hard on writers simply because I know most do spend a fair amount of time and put at least some effort in their work. So I would say Waltz's book was fun, while Graham could do with a bit more attention to the plot.

Disclosure: I bought both books on Kindle so I'm not sure how this could be construed as anything but a frank review. I've tried to be as unbiased as possible but really it's simple I only want to be entertained!

Princely Erotica Review 1

Never thought I'd read, much less review, erotica that centres on princes but had a friend recommend these reads after a really awful couple of weeks at work and life generally.

Ok, let me start by saying I was surprised by how I enjoyed both reads and I took up the last recommended read from another friend without too much resistance LOL

So to get straight to the heart of the matter:-

Title: Dirty Prince

Author: Vanessa Waltz

What made me go huh??: Anglefell. Not sure if it's a pun on the Anglo-Saxon nation and the fall (from grace) that the nation seems to have gone through. It clearly is good old Britain with all its quirks that seems to be the mold for Anglefell.

Storyline in a snap: Sassy American girl Daisy decides to sneak into Anglefell, a country that is in a state of cold war with the United States. When she's caught, she's accused of being a spy. So manwhore Prince Liam discovers a heart (ie an organ that beats with blood, other than the crown jewels of course haha!), he decides to propose a mutually beneficial alliance in the form of marriage. That starts a series of obstacle courses which the increasingly happy couple must negotiate.

What puzzled or dismayed me : Please see next post, there's something this story shares with the next read which was puzzling.

What I liked: The humour. Waltz has clearly decided to take a step away from the usual crime spiel and the first hint came in the chapter titles which are tabloid headlines. Nice touch. There's a Facebook page associated with the story and I'll pop by soon seeing how intrigued I'm by the idea.

Rating: 3.5*

                                                                    

A prince who speaks with a South London accent? LOL Bring it on!

Waffles & Waffling

In the great waffle vs pancake debate (lol), I've always taken the side of waffles simply because I love the crisp and any excuse to slurp maple syrup. So I've embarked on the thankless search for the best chicken and waffles in the country I'm currently based in, before I hightail it back to the Continent or maybe NY, depending on how (un)welcoming things get after the vote. Anyway, in the continuing search, I've had some meh, some seriously??, some huh?? experiences.

The worst of all was probably the place where I ended up getting takeout because the service staff got the orders wrong. I could have gotten better waffles if I had bought frozen and warmed it up - bleh. The wings were a lot better simply because of the sauce slathered all over them. Still the waffles were softer than pancakes, which was a no-no

The only thing that cheered me up was the wickedly funny Vanessa Waltz whose Dirty Prince was recommended by a friend. Hmm, a European prince who speaks like a southern England native (admittedly, he hails from a country Anglefell that hates to be mistaken for England - haha) and inspires tabloid headlines that would make Prince Harry blush which is an accomplishment all on its own. It's quite different from Waltz's other work though frankly I've only read two others. Still it made me laugh. And thinking back on the nobility and a prince I've had the (mis)fortune of encountering, if only they were so entertaining instead of being all poison ivy like, then again it takes all kinds to make the world right? Watch for the review next week.

Am gonna go brood over some writing that's driving me up the wall. Plus worry about a friend who's gone all quiet. Right now am hoping he's just busy or miffed because it's a lot better than something having happened to him. And my best friend's birthday is coming up too. Will the pace ever let up?

The Non Apology

I know the apologies and excuses aren't going to rock it so I'm not going to apologise. All I'll do is release excerpts from chapter 2 of DF on my other blog. I'm still hoping to release chapter 2 soon but I'm resisting the temptation to fo it just because I'm so tired of refining the story.

Exhaustion is getting to me and while the ideas are still popping up, I'm too tired and not feeling motivated. And I really don't want to lose the whole motivation for writing that got me started in the first place - enjoyment and inspiration.

Hope everyone's doing well. Here's some food porn as replacement for the severely delayed written erotica LOL

Review of The Thirteen Problems

For some reason, I was inspired to take on a quick re-read of Agatha Christie's The Thirteen Problems. The collection of short stories based loosely on Miss Marple's mystery solving adventures. I like Christie's main sleuth characters, Poirot and Marple, who are both fascinating in different ways. Of course, Suchet's turn as the famous Belgian sleuth does help!

In some ways, I'm sure my fascination with Bones, Criminal Minds and Monk may be traced to Christie. Anyway, part of that fascination surely has something to do with the fact that Christie wasn't exactly recommended reading though it was a lot more fun than thumbing through Thackeray.    

Compared to the thriller /mystery books that I've read since those days, the plot twists may seem a little too simple. For critics with that view, all I can say is that doing simple is often the hardest thing. Not all crime and mysteries are headliners or hugely complex. Sometimes, the most horrific plots are silently and almost unobtrusively carried out amid the mundane routines of daily life. My favourite pieces in this collection are The Idol House of Astarte, Motive v. Opportunity, The Four Suspects and The Herb of Death. While there's some excitement in terms of the suggestion of the supernatural and the claustrophobic overhang of war time paranoia, it is the simple locked room mystery trope and the chillingly sharp look into human psychology on offer that provides the thrill. 

Ok, so I'm mild when it comes to thrillers. For that reason I loved Clancy and Ludlum. And yes, I'd rather like a weekend of barbecue wings and Bourne movie marathon - if only life could be so easy huh?! 

What created the meh : the character development of the Tuesday club members. Sorry, can't tell the difference between the doctor and the lawyer.

What puzzled: The plot development in The Bloodstained Pavement. Ok, so the image created a deep impression on the painter/artist but that was essentially a distraction. 

What thrilled: The psychological insight offered by The Four Suspects and The Herb of Death

Re-reading rating: 4*

                                                    This comes from Yale news

The only thing better than a good murder mystery?

                                                   This comes from food love!

The Problem With AU

I'm sure after airing my grouses about certain tech giants, I'll be branded a neo-Luddite or a rabid female who's had burning hatred of technopreneurs. To be honest, I love gadgets especially tech gadgets. So it ain't the rabid thing for sure. Do I dislike technopreneurs? No more than I dislike doctors or lawyers or any other professional. In general, I don't like arrogant male chauvinist asses, so unless the imdividual is an AMCA technopreneur, I'm basically neutral towards him or her.


In the interests of alphabetical order, let's deal with Apple first. Let me declare, I'm not an Apple fan. Have not been since a disastrous encounter with Apple aftersales service (aka Service? What's that? What's service Siri?) over an iMac which saw me, a devoted Mac user, become a non-Apple fan.


The long story short? Basically, I followed the instructions of the online technician and when things got stuck, the service manager insinuated I was trying to get a new product indirectly despite the fact that the item I was complaining about had been delivered less than a week earlier. So I completely agree with this article.  A brief guide to everything that’s annoying about Apple http://gu.com/p/4tkp2/stw


Apple sealed the dislike when it gradually implemented its information and tech lock-in policies. Sure, hackers have a harder time getting to your information (though recent years have shown no one is impervious, not even the Apple) but so do you. Ever tried to migrate your information across platforms outside the Apple mandated universe? Good luck!


And now for the ambitious ubermensch! Before anyone jumps to the defence of my next gripe, let me clarify that part of the following is logical speculation on the possibility of screwups. You know like on the scale of Ashley Madison.


As someone who doesn't try to drive in the urban jungle I'm currently based in nor thinks it's anywhere near sanity to drive in London, Uber should be a godsend of sorts. Yet I'm irritated. I'm probably one of those bitchy, vocal females that Uber (and other Silicon Valley tech frat community members) seem(s) to hate. I read this article How Uber conquered London http://gu.com/p/4tjk3/stw on Uber's conquest of London with some amusement since I've had the pre and post Uber experience travelling in said city.


Somehow, the stats and data, while seemingly convincing, are  missing an element - the element of the human individual. If anything, the anti-Uber complaints have one thing in common, they don't look at the drivers as individuals but rather an anonymised mass of labour that is expected to conform to and confirm the stats rather than have the stats reflect their experience. The proposed UberPool is based again on projections which lack the understanding of the human element.


Nothing is as simple as projections based on stats make them out to be. Largely because these stats and projections don't take into account the human element. Let's look at a mundane situation where some suits decide to schedule a ride from point x to z in the City and they use UberPool. Another group needs to get from y to z and y lies in the path of the route between x and z. The logical solution via UberPool is to share but imagine a scenario where both groups are actually working for rival interests and are arriving for a pitch/meeting at a potential client's place which happens to be z. Potential conflict of interests could arise without prior knowledge of which rivals are also pitching for the same project and destroys potential advantages of a pitch process that approaches double blind. If this could happen without malicious intentions in the mix, what would the inclusion of intentions bring?


It'll be even more interesting if it were a potential client and supplier scenario - so an elevator pitch becomes an Uber ride pitch - imagine the consequences if disputes were to arise? Will Uber be implicated in any suits related to privacy in future? Will Uber become a conduit for meetings that may be of interest to legal monitors and government agencies? Hard to tell. Could be worse. Imagine a married couple, each on the way to an extramarital assignment, each unwittingly exposed through the use of Uberpool? Doesn't take a hack the size of Ashley Madison to wreck marriages/bring the truth to light, just the fortuitous symmetry of a married couple's use of an app within a certain timeframe. Call me imaginative but it's not that far off in a Uberpooled future, no?


So do we mere humans have anything to be concerned about in the highly efficient tech-enabled/tech-dominated future? Will removing the human element/human inefficiency make things better? Perhaps reading Matthew Mather's Cyberstorm could give some answers.And no I ain't wearing no tinfoil hat.