Another Easter is upon us and so is another boat race.
It's convoluted how rowing, the corruption of an innocent and erotica are connected so bear with me.
I've never quite stopped associating rowers with players probably because I'd inadvertently interrupted the erm 'coitus' process of the male crew captain as a fresher. Well, as a poor fresher (think church mouse poor, kinda like me now lol), everything you purchase needs to make sense. So after being suckered into buying one of those boaties shirts, I was reminded that if I didn't go pick up my shirt, it'll be good luck trying to squeeze into one which was too small. It was a freezing winter afternoon and I'd been trying to track down the captain who apparently held all the shirts. This was like the 2nd or 3rd round I'd run round to get to his room. It was quite clear from some sounds that he was in or at least someone was, there was giggling and stuff. But each time I knocked on the door, they'd just go quiet, yeah brilliant, like I wouldn't know you're in there!Anyway, the second time I'd knocked till he kinda responded and said come back later. I went off to dinner at the hall and came back and he was still otherwise occupied. Ok, I'm sure some people would have said cut the guy some slack. But seriously, it's freezing and dark out there and I wasn't going to walk back to accommodations and then back to the main college again. So I persisted and he finally opened the door, barely dressed and pissed and he said something sarcastic which I don't remember and frankly didn't give a damn about.
I didn't really feel guilty about interrupting this guy's happy hour. C'mon, if he'd been decent, I'd have felt some guilt but with Mr Personality, I just snorted and left. Think his companion was more amused than anything else, after all I heard giggling. Upshot was when I told a senior about the guy and how I'd interrupted the love fest, that senior went like that was probably a mistake because his girlfriend was either having class or was away on competition. I said well he certainly was banging something giggly. That's when it hit everyone, it wasn't just interrupting happy hour, it was interrupting a cheating asshole.
Part of the process of my corruption at college also had something to do with boaties. May not have mentioned it before but Germans have more or less been involved in corrupting me at various stages. A German introduced me to schnapps followed by hard alcohol and that began my journey down that path. Another German showed me porn, one of which was this video of a porn film from the 80s or 90s and the soundtrack was in German. The guy obviously had no idea that this ex-convent student had no sexual experience. While he was rattling on about how German was the worst language to declare love and to have sex talk in. All the while I was staring at this porn film and thinking if that's what sex is all about, it's seriously crude and off putting. For goodness sake, the moaning and groaning was so fake. And we started laughing when the guy started yelling out this German word. It was so weird and fake it was hilarious.
When I told my friend that, he went, I told you, German is not a great language for love or sex..
Think it was a day later or so when we went to "support" a friend who was having his training on for the intercollege boat races. Training for boaties typically starts at 3-4am but that day was a Saturday so I guess they had it later. Anyway, despite what Bloomberg says, rowing at almost all levels, even in The Boat Race with the light blues is dominated by the American and German students, the Brit representatives are usually the UK rowing representatives for international or Olympic competitions. Anyway, so the boat captain for that college was doubling up as coach that day and think he was coaching the second boat, and he started yelling in German. My friend and I heard him going "Schneller, schneller!" And we just burst out laughing. So the entire boat crew just rowed past staring at the spectators who were laughing uncontrollably. The coach glared at us but had no idea what was so hilarious. He never guessed what he was yelling was the exact same phrase on that porn video. Never been able to refrain from laughing at that since then.
And so in tribute to my corrupt friends in college, I can't write erotica in another language, it just won't feel right. LOL
Anyway, I'm cheering on the dark blues for their race today. Kick some light blues ass! Go OUBC!
Latest update: Cantabs won. Aww, there's always next year!
