Writing is like being in labour. Ok, that's what I've heard in any case. Since I haven't been in labour before, I'm not entirely sure the analogy is appropriate. The process of my struggles with my latest story is as close an experience with pregnancy as I'm getting so far in my 30+ years of life. In a way, the feeling of being pretty sure about the storyline, but feeling conflicted and enervated kind of reflects my conflicted feelings about having kids.
As I've said to friends, I do want kids, just not quite the other things that seem to accompany the said kids. I wanted kids with my ex fiancé but not the marriage, so basically we disagreed on a fundamental point. He wanted marriage but not necessarily kids, he was willing to compromise if he had to. We never really talked about it, there were endless arguments but not any real discussion. And while it wasn't the ultimate trigger that broke the relationship, it was a big factor.
Same thing with the story I'm writing right now. It started off as an obsession with the storyline and the intolerable selfishness and lack of remorse on the part of the cheating wife. And yes, there's a pattern to what triggers me :P Then as I got progressively mired in conflict about which ending I wanted, the process just started to frustrate me. It was like a baby who refused to come out. Right now, I just want to finish the damn thing. I apologise to my beta readers who're probably smiling patiently and putting up with a cranky writer - sorry and love y'all!
Think Meša Selimović put it quite nicely in The Fortress: The listener is the midwife in the difficult birth of the word. Or, still more important — if he desires to understand.
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